Editor’s Note: This story appeared in the December 2015 ORANGE Issue IV.
What Type of Austinite are You?
Illustrations by Sonia Margolin
You Are going out on a date with someone from class. Where do you take them?
A. A night out on South Congress
B. Hike up to Mt. Bonnell and then go kayaking
C. Mozart’s coffee shop
D. A concert to see my favorite local band
Obviously, Austin is the music capital in the country. Pick a music festival to attend:
A. SXSW
B. Austin City Limits
C. Ditch the Fest Fest
D. Fun Fun Fun Fest
You and your friends are going out to eat for lunch. Where do you go?
A. Home Slice
B. Homemade dinner from Wheatsville Co-op or Whole Foods
C. East Side King
D. My favorite food truck
It Is Saturday night! How do you spend a night out with your friends?
A. Hit up Sixth Street
B. Stargaze at Zilker Park with our dogs
C. Go to a friend’s house and listen to vinyls
D. Go see a movie at Alamo Drafthouse… or the closest movie theater to my house
It is Sunday, aka errands day. What is the most important thing on your to-do list?
A. Go buy snacks and q-tips at the CVS on the drag
B. Check on the tomatoes at the community farm
C. Go to Waterloo Records to look at new releases
D. Go to HEB and buy groceries
The population is steadily rising in Austin. How do you feel about this?
A. I think it’s great! Hook ‘em!
B. As long as they’re positively contributing to the Austin environment, it’s fine.
C. Austin is becoming too mainstream, so no thanks.
D. Get the f*** out!!!
Finals week is upon us, and it Is time to pull some all nighters. Where do you go to study?
A. Cafe Medici. Hook ‘em!!
B. In my eno 🙂
C. Bennu Coffee
D. My house
What Is a staple item in your wardrobe?
A. My UT hoodie. Hook ‘em!
B. Chacos
C. The Smiths t-shirt
D. Tyler’s Shirt
If you were to have your own business startup, what would it be?
A. Double-decker bus tour
B. Organic scratch-made dog treats
C. A beard salon for men
D. A taco stand or something Tex-Mex related
What’Is the best thing about Austin?
A. UT!!!! Hook ‘em!
B. I’m able to be in tune with nature and my health
C. the music and art scene
D. I know, I know — Austin is home. But I guess that’s also the worst part now because I have to see it change so much.
Results:
Mostly As: The Tourist
Clearly you’re not from Austin, but you love the music scene, the food, and of course the campus culture. Since you’re not yet familiar with everything Austin has to offer, you still hit up the touristy places to visit; by the time you graduate from UT and live here for a few more years, though, you’ll know the ins-and-outs of Austin.
Mostly Bs: The Granola
What you love most about Austin is how eco-friendly of a city it is. You love spending time outside, you are in-tune with the environment, and you appreciate the community gardens and the organic foods here, all of which is a big reason you decided to live in this environmental-friendly city.
Mostly Cs: The Hipster
What you appreciate most about Austin is the art and music scene. You spend your free time exploring the city, looking for obscure vintage stores, small restaurants, and of course going to concerts at small venues. Big cities fascinate you because of all its oddities and rich culture, and Austin is the perfect city for you.
Mostly Ds: The Native Austinite
Who the hell are all these people moving to Austin?! You can easily spot out tourists, students, and the artists who moved here for the art scene. While you’re glad that people love your home-city as much as you do, you can’t help but feel annoyed at the flux of people moving to Austin. You truly know all of Austin’s quirks, from the subcultures to your favorite locally owned businesses, and you hope that, despite the changes being made, people can appreciate what you find to be the best things about Austin.