As ardent foodies, we try and portray ourselves as immaculately composed and well-versed in all things food and drink related. While in theory, this may bring about images of perfectly stylized and captioned pictures of our many food-related adventures, the fact of the matter is that behind the scenes, these can turn from adventures to misadventures in seconds. The ORANGE Food + Drink staff share some of their most cringe-worthy stories related to food, drinks, and the many courses in between.
Illustrations by Alex Guillen
London Gibson
When I was in high school I worked at a catering company as a waitress. One night I was serving at an extremely fancy Downton Abbey-themed gala, where the wait staff had to dress in costumes and all guests were in evening wear. I was carrying an insanely heavy silver platter of food and I was so scared I was going to drop it and cause a scene, but lucky for me, I didn’t. Unlucky for me, I was concentrating so hard on not dropping the platter that I spilled an entire spoonful of green beans in a woman’s lap, all over her fancy dress. I was mortified.
Anshuman Singhal
My freshman year of college, my roommate’s parents took us and a few friends out for dinner at a really, really fancy steakhouse in Austin. Coming from a predominantly vegetarian family, I had very little exposure to red meat prior to this, and had just lost my “steak virginity” the previous summer. I ordered a gorgeous steak dish and savored it wholeheartedly, eating it quickly – maybe a bit too quickly. As we looked over the dessert menus, I felt a bit uneasy in my throat and stomach, and excused myself to use the restroom. Long story short, I proceeded to run into a stall, rip off my bow tie, and throw up the contents of my dinner into the toilet.
Mind you, this steakhouse was a classy establishment, so the many noises brought forth by my uncontrollable vomiting ushered everyone else in the restroom out immediately. I must have been absent from the dinner table for quite a while, because my roommate, another friend, and my roommate’s dad all came to make sure I was okay. After seeing my state, they ordered an Uber for me, and I was accompanied by a friend back to my dorm room. I was terribly embarrassed and a bit sad to miss out on dessert, but relieved to be going back to the privacy of my room to sort myself out. I think it goes without saying that I haven’t touched steak since.
Sarah Hollis
A few years ago, I took a trip to Italy with my friends. After a very full and exhausting day of touring Rome, we decided to take a break for dinner. Our waiter, in an attempt to be funny, teased me by handing my food to me, taking it back and giving it to one of my friends, but I was not having it. I started crying in the middle of the restaurant while my friends ate their lasagna, wondering what was wrong with me. The food definitely wasn’t worth crying over either. 0/10 would not recommend.
Sunny Kim
Eight years ago, after a long 15-hour plane ride, I had just arrived to the U.S. from South Korea, feeling especially queasy and sick to my stomach., Despite that, my uncle and his entire family thought it would be a wonderful idea to drive my parents and I from San Francisco all the way to Las Vegas without giving us a break. The car ride was a whopping nine-hour drive, which was not okay, because I have severe motion sickness. To add insult to injury, my uncle, who was driving the car, would step on the breaks every five minutes. Finally, we arrived at a fancy hotel and there was an all-you-can-eat buffet, so I grabbed a plate and tried to digest something. As I walked back to my table, the smell of greasy dumplings and teriyaki chicken suddenly filled my nose and without a warning, I threw up all over the floor. It was disgusting. After a few hours, I ordered chicken noodle soup through room service– bad idea– and after taking a few bites, I threw up everything again. After this horrible experience, I was scarred for life and couldn’t digest chicken noodle soup until a few years ago. My advice: Don’t eat anything after suffering from motion sickness.
Ali Garza
You know that feeling of laughter that takes over your body and leaves you gasping for air? Those moments are always great. But do you also remember those moments of complete and utter embarrassment that leaves you cautious to drink anything around the people who make you laugh the most? Yeah, I know I do.
It was my sixth grade camping trip and my friends and I were sitting at a table waiting to get in line for lunch. My best friend was sitting across from me and little did she know that she was going to regret making a hilarious joke right when I took a huge sip of Sprite. One thing led to another and I sprayed all of the Sprite right in her face while her mouth was open. The lunch room went silent as my friend was screaming and my nostrils were burning with the carbonation. Let’s just say it is a great story to tell now, but didn’t feel too great when my crush didn’t speak to me for the rest of the trip.
Nafisa Gazi
One morning, after pulling an all-nighter studying, I went to Littlefield Cafe to grab a granola-yogurt cup. I opened the lid and dipped my spoon in, but a burst of granola flew into my face. There was a hard layer of granola lining the top of the fruit, and to get to the bottom, I thought I needed to stab with more gusto. This time, the granola container spun itself not only onto my table, but also the surrounding floor. When I looked up, I found a girl across from me clearly staring at my situation. With most of the granola gone, I finally realized that I had been trying to break through the small cup that holds the granola separate from the yogurt, and in the meantime had drawn several looks from the lady cleaning tables.
Abby Moore
Emotional eating is a process that many can relate to, but my embarrassing food story takes the ”emotional” in “emotional eating” to a whole new level. After a tiresome week filled with the rigorous discipline of eighth grade academics and way too much preteen drama, our carpool mom surprised me and my friends with a trip to Dairy Queen! Ah, a glimmer of hope in my week of despair. We arrived and ordered with enthusiasm. While my friends opted for the tried and true ice cream Blizzard, I couldn’t resist the temptation of crispy popcorn chicken. Our food arrived promptly and before finishing my first bite, my eyes overflowed with tears. Real tears. Greasy fried nuggets from a fast food establishment brought me to tears. Six years later my friends still remind me of that moment every time we pass a Dairy Queen. I guess love at first bite is real.
Abby Morgan
When I was traveling abroad with my family, we were having a bit of trouble with the language gap. My Spanish is weak, if not non-existent and ordering meals was the hardest part for me. After a bit of trouble with a very patient waiter, we settled on the special of the day. I was brought a bowl of salsa mush and finished every last bite of the meal. About an hour later, I was covered head to toe in a bloodshot rash and it felt like ants were crawling on my skin for 3 days. To this day I don’t know what was in the salsa or what I’m so allergic to but for the rest of the trip, I stuck to fish and chips.
Andrea Cos
Things were getting serious. I was invited to eat dinner with my high school boyfriend’s entire family for the first time. We went to a well-known sushi restaurant that was absolutely gorgeous and rated as one of the best in town. All in all, it was meant to be a good setting for my first interaction with my boyfriend’s family. The only problem: I hated sushi and could not stomach the thought of eating it. (Side note: I love sushi today, but at the time, I could not stand the taste of fish.)
Everything was going fine. His family was incredibly nice and I was determined to power through eating the fishy food. However, as can be expected considering my luck, everything did not go according to plan. Plates of sushi were ordered to share and I tried to locate the least offensive-looking one. However, as soon as I attempted to eat it, an instinctive reflex took hold of me and I was forced to spit it out into my napkin, in front of his family. My face instantly turned the color of the half-chewed smoked salmon sitting on my napkin. Up to that point, it was the most mortifying moment of my life.
