At the beginning of my final year at the University of Texas at Austin, I met new anxieties and creeping thoughts that had the power to consume all of me. This new layer forced me to confront the resurfacing aspects of my mental health journey. Each time I talked about my struggles with retaining focus or online school, my friends would often sigh in agreement. It saddened me that they were struggling the same way I was, but it was comforting to know I wasn’t isolated in my feelings.
Story by Ariana Pleasure // @arianapleasure // she/her
Graphic by Anna Sing // @annasingsong // she/her
Just two months into the school year, students, professors and all others involved in the college community began to feel the wrath of COVID-19 and other worldly collisions. It’s already October and this year has brought challenges that have resulted in mental and physical struggles for many. Summer was clouded with uncertainty, isolation and more thinking and reflecting than desired. With a virus as sneaky and invasive as COVID-19, people have been left to take matters day by day.
Though this pandemic is nothing anyone asked for, one of the positive effects is that it has brought students together in an unlikely situation as they continue their academic paths on computers with spotty Wi-Fi. While online classes are the new norm for college students, many feel and fight similar harsh thoughts as they venture through new circumstances. Mental health for college students has always been an important conversation, long before the chaos began last March. It is absolutely necessary that universities check on students’ mental health, and accommodate them to the best of their ability. It is also pertinent that we check on our friends, and self-monitor our own mental states. Of course, this cannot look the same for everyone. Students at UT-Austin, as well as other colleges throughout Texas, cope as best they can.
“Mental health is rising in conversations a lot more. In high school that was never really talked about,” Ruby Covarrubias, an elementary education major at Dallas Baptist University, said. “For a long time, I thought mental health was only the harsh cases.”
While many students had high hopes for the Fall 2020 semester, and the year in general, they have been forced to make new plans and refocus their ideas. Last year, freshmen were robbed of their high school prom and the other expected senior year outings like graduation celebrations. Now they’re trying to rebuild their lives within new city walls and in some cases, in their hometown bedrooms. College seniors are planning future careers around a pandemic that seems to have far-stretching impacts in the coming years.
With all of these unforeseen circumstances, I am constantly facing the music and re-drafting more accessible plans for my life after graduation. If I had it my way I would be walking into a steady job market, have great experiences through in-office internships, and a firm grasp on what I want to do career-wise. The idea of moving on into the ‘real world’ has always been an intimidating thought, but also an exciting one filled with endless possibilities and the best adventures to come. Although many of those opportunities are still there, they often feel unattainable and looking forward can be more discouraging than anything. I am lowering my expectations and taking deep breaths when things are constantly altered in my life. That means no in-person internships, not living near campus, and the possibility of not walking for graduation. I balance my all-online class schedule and mixed emotions while finding new ways to try and stay positive, or in most cases, just trying not to fall under a heavily emoted void.
“You just feel very disconnected from your peers,” said Sean Thomas, a senior communication and leadership major at the University of Texas at Austin. “It’s hard to find any sort of peace or comfort because everywhere you turn, it feels like danger is all around you.”
Online school means far less social interaction than students usually take part in. People are social beings and we have been forced to restructure day-to-day routines which includes less contact, plus more precautions to keep everyone around us safe. The tides have changed, and those moments of small talk and other daily occurrences have become distant dreams we wish we could return to as soon as humanly possible.
“I get zoom fatigue. I feel too tired to show up to class most days even though I’m not actually going anywhere,” Andrea Berumen, a junior political science major at the University of Texas at Dallas, said. “My friends and I have done a good job at maintaining our group chat and we try to do weekly group FaceTime calls, but it has still felt isolating.”
Students were once able to make some of their most important connections through short interactions during and in between classes. Strangers would often become study partners to help each other through difficult classes, and new friendships were great possibilities as well. College campuses are notorious for fostering healthy adult interactions during incredibly formative times. Without that major social component, the college experience is an entirely new battlefield filled with many unknowns.
Not all moments have felt completely devastating and exhausting. It seems that many have found some calm within their personal storms to hold onto. This doesn’t mean that people are done acknowledging the chaos around, but it ensures they do not neglect themselves amid such troubling times.
All types of measures are being taken to keep students in check and maintain healthy minds through what might be the most stressful semester yet. Daily practices such as taking walks, listening to music, and being kinder to yourself are done everyday to help students’ sanity. Therapy sessions are also being used and considered more seriously. No measure is too simple or unnecessary in an attempt to better yourself and maintain your personal peace.
While there might not be any definitive answers for overcoming mental health issues during this COVID-19 era, there does seem to be hope in finding ways to combat both current and future highs and lows. Hope is visible – some have even managed to find bits and pieces of it throughout their day.
“I give myself days to do nothing and just sleep or watch my favorite shows or movies and not feel guilty about it,” Berumen said.
Other students make physical notes as reminders they are not going crazy.
“I’m trying to give myself that motivation and reassurance that it’s going to be okay. I started to write down sticky notes, take a breath, take a step, relax,” Arturo Ramirez, a senior architectural engineering major at UT Austin, said.“It’s just for me, to tell myself that it’s going to be okay.”
It’s pertinent that we reframe our lives and the hobbies we enjoy, no matter how small.
“I try to take things that haven’t really changed much and look forward to them,” Thomas said. “I love running and listening to music. It allows me to get into a space where I am reminded that time will continue to move on and these things will pass.”
Now, it is more important than ever to claim the victories we come across and celebrate whatever we can. Months have been spent agonizing over the uncontrollable, leading to incomprehensible exhaustion. Now is the time to reign in our thoughts and take care of ourselves. No one person can survive the weight of this pandemic on their shoulders. There are no right answers when it comes to mental health. All you can do is your best and accept that that is enough and so are you.
