Pizza Rat, Emily Gibson
Being in college is a lot like being a rodent. You crawl around dingy places, travel in large packs that scare both grown-ups and small children and, most importantly, you hunt for free food in every form and variety. It isn’t hard for me to believe that a college student was cursed and transformed into the rat that went viral this week when it was filmed trying to carry a slice of pizza double its size down a staircase in the New York Subway.
This rat found a giant, hot piece of pizza double its size and capitalized on the opportunity. Think about it in human terms. A roughly 12-foot piece of New York deep dish drops right into your path. You’ve probably been living off stale cereal and cheese sandwiches. Don’t say you wouldn’t try to drag that sucker home.
Pizza Rat is more than a meme. Nigh, Pizza Rat is more than a rodent. Pizza Rat is all of us. Just some lowly college students tip-toeing through that moral battlefield of whether or not eating food off the floor is acceptable. Long live Pizza Rat. Long live us.
#IStandWithAhmed, Zoya Zia
A clock, a scientifically inclined teenager and a surge of support. Ahmed Mohamed, a 14-year-old student from Dallas, TX, made a digital clock to impress his teacher. Instead, he was arrested in front of his class and falsely accused of making a hoax bomb. This alarming case of racial profiling created waves in the Twitterverse.
People across the world expressed their encouragement for Ahmed with #IStandWithAhmed. President Barack Obama, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, and other prominent figures also tweeted in support. This past weekend, Ahmed was a VIP speaker at the Google Science Fair. Check the clock, world. It’s Ahmed’s time to shine.
Follow Ahmed at @IStandWithMohamed.
Michael “Mikey” Bergin: A Modern Captain Ahab, Emma Whalen
Surprise, surprise, the girl from Massachusetts is writing about the Boston accent guy who went viral. ICYMI, Michael Bergin is a man with a VERY thick Boston accent, whose adventure chasing around a “sea monster” went viral because of his dazzling wit and insightful commentary on the seafaring traditions of New England. In other words he screams “IT’S A SEA MONSTA” at a giant, dying fish and tries to poke it.
My personal favorite line, “CALL THE AQUARIUM” seems as logical of a solution in this situation as any.
There’s so much Michael Bergin can teach us! Having trouble finding ways to generously pepper your sentences with f-bombs? Watch this video. Trying to find a new and creative way to listen to a classic Biggie song? Watch this video. Looking to explore the thematic intricacies of man vs. nature depicted in Herman Melville’s 900-page book Moby Dick without actually reading it? WATCH THIS VIDEO.
It’s for your own good.
The Splat, Kristen Balderas
There’s nothing a college student wants more than to be a kid again. College students long for childhood because childhood means naps, no responsibility and Nickelodeon.
People have been filling the Twittersphere with rumors of revived ‘90s TV shows. Zoey 101 creator Dan Warp sparked the hype after posting a five-minute video. The video was a glimpse into the present-day life of character Chase Matthews, who finally hears what Zoey said about him in a time capsule buried 10 years ago. The video ended with the words “To be continued…?” on a black screen. The continuation of Zoey 101 has not been confirmed, but Nickelodeon did speak out about their next project.
Nickelodeon has let the world know #TheSplatIsComing. The Splat was previously a segmented slot on TeenNick that played ‘90s shows. According to MTV, Nickelodeon has confirmed that The Splat is becoming its own channel. Congratulations ‘90s kids, it looks like the rumors you started on Twitter have finally turned out to be true.
Follow @TheSplat on Twitter for more updates on when the channel launches and all of our lives get significantly better.
