A holistic guide to the best affordable wine for your next wine night.

Story by Julia O’Hanlon

Illustration by Jacob Sepúlveda

Sometimes after a long day, we all need a way to relax and release. For me, I love a good glass of wine. Few people understand me as well as a glass of rosé before dinner, but buying wine on a college budget can be difficult. Fortunately, there are a number of quality wines that are available at low prices for bargain shoppers. However, these wines are not all created equally.

This is why I am going on a quest for the ultimate cheap wine. My criteria on this journey are the cost of the wine, the taste, and how I feel the night of and the night after drinking. After rigorous testing (me drinking wine on my couch after a long day) and scoring, I will determine the ultimate affordable wine.

Barefoot – White Zinfandel

How I Feel While Drinking

Old reliable, we meet again. Barefoot is one of my favorite go-to wines for any sort of event that involves alcohol. However, the taste of white zinfandel makes me feel like a child, and this version tastes incredibly processed and sweet. On the bright side, there is a nice crisp aftertaste to this wine, and I am grateful for the relief.

I am currently drinking this and watching “Made in Mexico” after a long, busy day, and I am refusing to do any further moving or thinking. The wine is helping me understand the rapid Spanish a little better, which makes me feel good since I am taking up my language-learning journey again. I go to bed around 12 a.m. (after watching the fight during the Thanksgiving episode… the chisme was so good…).

How I Feel The Next Morning

Look — I have felt worse after drinking, but I have also definitely felt better. My motto is that the key to happiness is low expectations (Is that sad? Or realistic?), and this wine is really hitting the bare minimum for me. However, a mild headache and feeling a little gross is a fine trade-off for the good buzz I had going on last night. This wine is like your friend that never texts you back or asks you to hang out, but is there once in a blue moon to give you some good advice on a job opportunity or a significant other. She is a little iffy sometimes, but we love her anyway!

The Cost: $4.97

3 out of 5 wine glasses

Beringer – Dry Rosé

How I Feel While Drinking

I grabbed this wine at H-E-B for its price, and realize I’ve never tried it before. This is not one of the typical wines that people choose, but I scoop it up for a ladies night. I am blown away by how much wine is in this bottle for how exceptionally cheap it is. With that being said, I was incredibly cautious, because it felt too good to be true.

However, this wine was really selling itself for me. This rosé is dry and not overly sweet. Instead, it was crisp, light, and did not carry a lingering aftertaste that can usually be associated with cheap wines. I felt expensive while drinking, and my friends and I had a great night screaming about whether or not it is still okay to be obsessed with “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” and other pressing social issues.

The Next Morning

I woke up at 8:30 a.m. for my 9:30 a.m. class feeling alive. Usually after drinking on a weekday I live to regret it, but today I am fine. There was no headache or residual drunk feeling, and I did not wake up with regret. It was almost like all I had was water. A win! An upgrade! I am grateful! Is this the new go-to wine for pre-games and movie nights? Stay tuned! (Yes).

The Cost: $5.99

5 out of 5 wine glasses

Charles Shaw (“Two-buck Chuck”) – Cabernet Sauvignon

How I Feel While Drinking

Listen, not to be dramatic, but I would give Trader Joe’s my firstborn child. Two-buck Chuck may be one of the most interesting wines out there. To quote my mother, who loves a nice vacation in wine country, “This is some of the best wine I have ever had.” Charles Shaw is truly the wine of the people, and I believe that it has the potential to end classism.

I grabbed a Cabernet Sauvignon because I am an adult woman and I need to write my thesis tonight so we cannot do anything too wild. I pour myself this wine and I feel strong. This is a rich, deep wine with strong oaky undertones. Look, I am also surprising myself by writing tasting notes, but it’s how I feel!

I have a nice buzz going after drinking this wine, but not to the degree that I cannot focus. I write about five pages about a school board meeting, put on a nice night cream, and go to bed. Is this how my mother lives? I like it.

The Next Morning

This wine is both Mom and Julia approved. I feel ready to take on the day, and the pages I wrote last night are coherent. A double win! I am considering making this wine a go-to for future study dates with friends. Red wines are not my favorite, which is why this wine is such a surprise for me. But perhaps this is the wine of academics? I am 100% sure that this is the wine ancient philosophers would drink if they were alive during the Trader Joe’s era.

The Cost: $2.00

4 out of 5 wine glasses

Cupcake – Moscato

How I Feel While Drinking

The ugly step-sister of cheap wines, Cupcake is never a first choice but more of an “I guess this will work.” This is a wine that is so sweet that you can feel it in your teeth, and I always drink it with a little resignation.

I have some of this wine at a pre-game before going out with friends. The moscato is saccharine and has a thick quality to it, and I am beginning to question some of my friendships while drinking this. There is genuinely no other taste to this wine other than sugar.

Nevertheless, I finished two drinks and definitely danced a little too hard to Ally’s sell-out bops from the A Star is Born soundtrack. I forget how I fell asleep when I got home, but I know that I have not slept this soundly in a while.

The Next Morning

Is it possible for your bloat to have bloat? For your headache to have a headache? For your regrets to have regrets? To quote Ally, “Why did you do that to me [Cupcake wine]?” Frankly, I am really mad at Cupcake wine for this and also at the world for making me carry on my life after going out. I deserve a day off and I deserve it now. It is hard to be an old woman, and I need my wine to understand that!

The Cost: $10.99

2 out of 5 wine glasses

Ruffino – Pinot Grigio

When doing research for this article, I came across this brand. Interested in a diversity of wines, I scooped this up from Total Wine and brought it home to a friend for a wine night. We had a couple of glasses, ate some burgers, and put on whatever reality show that was on Bravo.

How I Feel While Drinking

This wine was so light that it almost felt thin. It was crisp and refreshing, and I found myself wanting more. I will say that after one glass of this wine, I was drunk. I was gently slurring some of my words, and that is when I decided this catch-up chat would be more about listening than speaking. However, being the monster that I am, I had another glass before bed and passed out.

How I Feel The Next Morning

I wake up with a little bit of a head-high still, which is incredibly unusual for me. After that wears off, I have a dull headache that requires Motrin and water to cure. Fortunately, we drank on a Thursday and I do not have class or responsibilities on Friday so I took it easy this morning and slowly started working on homework after about a couple hours of being awake. With how nice this wine was while drinking, I feel a little betrayed by how I felt in the morning. However, this is certainly a wine I would repurchase.

The Cost: $7.47

4 out of 5 wine glasses

The Ultimate Cheap Wine

I have to give the award of the best cheap wine to Beringer for making an affordable product that still tastes fantastic. It is a true testament that low price does not need to mean low quality, as this wine can hold its own against much more expensive wines. However, it is important to remember that no matter what wine on this list you are drinking, you are getting a good deal for your money. Remember to drink responsibly, and enjoy!