COVID-19 hit the spring semester of my freshman year at the University of Texas at Austin and by then, I had just familiarized myself with campus and started to socialize with others. The pandemic cut my freshman year short and before I knew it, I was on a bus home to Dallas. Varying thoughts filled my head of whether or not I’d be able to finish this year in person, if I’d be able to still attend events, or if I would be able to see my friends back home. But most importantly it left me wondering what could have been.

Story by Shaina Jaramillo/ @s__jaramillo / pronouns: she/her

Illustration by Joanne Tsao / @jjjooannnee / pronouns: she/her

With nothing to do in my hometown, far away from Austin and campus, I spent my time scrolling through Instagram and Twitter. I would see posts of friends going on road trips or having fun at the beach. I’d watch their Instagram stories of moving back into their dorms and videos of  Zoom calls or bonfires with their new friends. Seeing all of this on the other end of the screen made me feel like I was missing out on the college experience of socializing, going out, and having freedom. 

I realized I was no longer going to meet new people and make new memories. I grew anxious and worried about the college years I would never get back, and I felt I was wasting time doing nothing. I was dealing with a new type of stress – FOMO.

FOMO, or ‘fear of missing out,’ is the feeling that you get when your friends are out having a great time and you can’t tag along, creating the fear that you missing out on the possibility of making memories. People around the globe experience this phenomenon and it’s particularly due to social media. The actions of online creators and celebrities have contributed to the rise of FOMO. Celebrities like Nikita Dragon and the Kardashians have posted videos and pictures of their large LA parties full of Tik Tokers, actors, and creators. Their decisions and lack of social distancing portray a sense of normalcy that many people can’t and shouldn’t experience, leaving them with FOMO.

Throughout the pandemic, many students worried they wouldn’t have the full college experience they expected. College is often a gateway to liberation and provides a chance to participate in student organizations and events. 

“I did not expect to be fully online, barely leaving my apartment and doing absolutely everything over Zoom calls,” UT freshman English major, Jacqueline Brown said. “Now it’s strictly schoolwork, which is nice – to be able to completely focus on it. I think it’s the fear of missing out on all the social experiences, friends, and memories you could be making instead of just waking up, getting on a Zoom call, doing homework, and going to bed as a constant routine.”

Zara Sharaf, a senior human dimensions of organization major at UT, expressed her frustration toward people not following social distancing protocols. 

“I don’t want to spread the virus,” Sharaf said. “So it’s kind of frustrating seeing people hanging out like normal when I’m sacrificing my social life.” 

However, both Brown and Sharaf have been optimistic throughout the pandemic and picked up hobbies during quarantine to cope with their FOMO. Brown learned how to crochet and has a stack of books she wants to finish reading while Sharaf got on the gaming trend by playing Animal Crossing and Among Us. She said she also met new people from other colleges through mutual friends on Zoom.

“I think the pandemic has created some opportunities that I wouldn’t have had before,” Sharaf said. “But even though that’s fun, I feel like I’d still prefer being in person.”

Although students have found hobbies to combat FOMO, they have not fully satisfied the feelings of loneliness and exclusion. Sharaf misses the more mundane things about college, like running to her classes across campus and sitting in traffic. She now gets this bizarre feeling of excitement and jumps at the chance to go grocery shopping, just to enjoy taking a drive.

“I’m trying to enjoy it for what it is,” Sharaf said. “But I’m definitely crossing my fingers that stuff will go back to normal soon.”

Like Brown and Sharaf, I have the same desire: to go outside. This heightened feeling of FOMO has brought on a new perspective – to be more extroverted and open to going places. The increase in FOMO during quarantine has given me the courage to participate in events and socialize more once the pandemic ends. Quarantine has made me feel isolated and has taken a toll on my mental health as feelings of sadness and anxiety have heightened. But, it has signified the need to not waste any more time and made me realize the things, big and small, that I am don’t want to miss out on ever again.

Now, as I scroll through Instagram and Twitter and see these posts, instead of feeling the stress of FOMO, I can look forward to doing all those things, and more, after the pandemic, with a confident attitude.